Gathering

Have been gathering my thoughts of late. There is plenty on my mind - things to do, things I plan to do... Directions, steps, sequences to take... I don't like this feeling, feeling this way, planning, arranging, having to take calculated risk (don't we all). Life is still good, still happy. But I can't help but feel an underlying veil of unhappiness, unwillingness and frustration. This veil, this layer, has been acting like a cling wrap, intensifying, permeating, penetrating into my life, brewing, making it unhappy, making it stressful, causing me grief and anger. Maybe it is not as bad as I have put it - but this slow worrying caused me to be unhappy about life in general. I really need to move on. Too bad this all takes time. Too bad time is not on my side at this point. I can't work fast enough. I feel a sense of impending doom. I need out. I am feeling the 'catch me if you can' vibe pulling at my tail feathers, licking at my heels. God save me.

This is not yet a cry for help for I know I can handle this. God be with me, hold me, guide me. God bring me to salvation. God allow me to seek refuge under your wings, hold me, comfort me, for me your child need your consolation. I need you Lord. Bring me to salvation. Let me not walk this path alone. God be with me. I will be with You dearest Abba Father. Jesus most precious name, Amen.