Hello I know it has been a long time, but firstly, Happy New Year! Welcome the year of the Black Snake! Perhaps I will write another entry on the new year goodies and catch up with cousins and whatnots next but currently I am not exactly in the mood to recite on the joyousness of the new year.
I don't know why but this has been bothering me. I am feeling some bits of insecurity when it comes to work. I am not sure why, I feel really quite overwhelmed of late and I feel that I am not performing as well as I should be. I feel that I have been doing a lot of work, not necessary being efficient and I am not complaining about the work load truly but it seems like I am not excelling or doing fine in the areas that I should be proficient in. I know this should not be a problem even but I am really uptight about my current situation. I know I should not be looking at horoscopes but I saw that Pigs are not going to have it good career-wise this year and truly, I am feeling kinda tired already. I am 'supposed to keep a low profile, not complain so much and just work my way through'. I think I will do that, just keep my mouth shut and do my things.
The orientation for the new intake is coming up, in fact, it is happening tomorrow at 945am. I am preparing for it now. This is me, ever ready, ever practicing and wanting to do my best but, I am not sure, I am not so bright? I am not like a last minute kinda person, I have to write notes, practice, go extra early, check and re-check and YET I can still miss stuff out. I don't really remember details and such and it feels bad. Like I am underperforming. I don't wanna go around to fish for praises, I just wanna do my work and do it well. I really hate it now, like how everything is about to happen at the same time and I can do nothing about it. I feel like heading over to office tomorrow just to check that all is in place and all is well. I am intending to go to office at 730am to have some extra class schedules printed out and placed on the orientation chairs and recall what time we put out the sparkling juices and all. I am SUCH A WORRY WART I KNOW! But I have to do this to myself if not I WILL NOT DO WELL! :( I am truly sad now, my morale and mood is so low.
Also, I have to call Four Leaves tomorrow to check on the bun orders. SO STRESS! Did I say, the live workshop and grad show is going to happen on Friday, simultaneously? Yes the grad show will just last 3 hours but the live workshop for 3 days? And I have to make sure all the boards go up in place, my students' dressing and hair style is in place, the furniture is in place. Wah I am so stressed up! Okay I change my mind, I will sleep early tonight, head to the office in the morning, print all the necessary documents and have it set up properly for Wednesday to happen. :(
Yes yes I know I have already done the prep work and everything and all that needs to be done is for the event to officially HAPPEN. The execution stage. I have the last minute jitters and this is bad! I never thought that I might be so affected by this period this week. I really wish for this week to end as fast as possible so that life may go back to usual - or so I think.
Now I am going to head back to my slides and practice for my presentations. Leave the New Year entry to another time. :)
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